Rule #21: Avoid Strip Clubs

I figured that I would write this one first, because honestly everyone probably thought I would write rule #1 first.  No.  Let’s mix it up a bit.  And besides sex sells right?

Metallica and Naked Zombies

First, I would like to say that this one really makes me laugh.  The scene at the beginning of the movie with the stripper chasing some businessman out of the club.  Boobs swingin and jiggling around as, of course, she is a zombie.  Hilarious!  Metallica playing in the background.  Just hysterical.

From what I understand this is not a rule stated in the movie.  It is, however, implied during the opening scene.  And to make it official, it has been displayed on many promotional items for the movie.  Good Stuff. (The bikini was added as not to offend anyone)

What part of a human is Zombie Bacon?

What part of a human is Zombie Bacon?

Let’s start with the reasoning behind this rule. The zombie mentality might be that a strip club is basically a butcher shop.  Meat on display.  And I would think that the meat market would be filled with a bunch of men with an immense appetite for flesh, zombie or not.  “I’ll take that thigh, that shoulder, and 2 breasts”  and since I’m a zombie, the brains too.  Maybe “patient zero” at that contaminated burger at a strip called “Gas n Gulp”! While this marketing piece includes a zombie stripper, I believe it is because most of the men at the club were or became zombies and turned the strippers.  But I am pretty sure that touching as well as eating the strippers is against the rules (the strip club rules… new blog series?).

OK, I will avoid zombie strip clubs

In life, strip clubs have a reputation of sex, drugs, decadence, vulnerability, lust, exploitation, and… overpriced drinks (so I’ve heard).  This is a reputation. I am not declaring them to be true or false.  I am stating this is the persona of a strip club.  Feel free to add your own adjectives as well.

This persona may be false or it may be true.  It is important to avoid situations in life where you may be caught up in a misconceived notion about you, your life, your family, or your business.  Don’t hang around with the wrong crowd or the crowd that appears to be the wrong crowd.  Don’t subject yourself to the opportunity to be labeled incorrectly.  Don’t open yourself up to ridicule.

Rule #21 – Avoiding Strip Clubs, is merely another way to help yourself live transparently and honestly.

Alright, Alright, no more zombie pasties

Keep a straight line my friends.  Keep an eye on the prize.  Otherwise you could be zombie meat or meat for the masses.

If you want to read more of the My life and Zombieland series you can unlock it below.  Seriously, Zombieland changed my life. 🙂


My Life and Zombieland


November 21st, 2013 by