Confidence comes from within.
Self-esteem is different from confidence.
Self-esteem often times comes from other people building you up. Being there for you. Supporting you.
But, that doesn’t give you confidence. It will leave you empty. Like something is missing. You may sometimes try and fill it with relationships, or addictions, which may only lead to depression.
And what if the relationship isn’t strong? As relationships go bad, self-esteem gets worse. Loneliness sets in and confidence is gone.
There are some things you must do. Be active. Have accomplishments. For me it was doing laundry and arranging my calendar.
I know, right? Simple stupid stuff. Well, when I did these things I got an enormous boost of confidence. Something I hadn’t felt in a long time. I had achieved something. I did it. It wasn’t done for me. It was me, only me, for only me. What a great feeling.
Build confidnece in small steps. Do not bite off more than you can chew. Too much may lead to failure. You might become overwhelmed and lead you right back into a rut.
First identify what you should do that you currently don’t. Maybe someone takes care of it for you. Start small and build up. Your level may be different from mine. I needed to learn to handle money, do laundry, go shopping, go to sleep at a reasonable hour. You may have already achieved those things. These things may not provide you with adequate confidence building.
Pick something slightly above where you currently are an do it. The key is moving forward at a reasonable rates. Keep moving forward. You will feel your life move forward and your confidence will improve.
Self-esteem is nice. But it develops dependency. Confidence comes from within.
You know it does.
I am not talking about all the crap around your house or apartment (though I know that controls you too). I am talking about all the crap rolling between your ears.
You don’t have to have a clean desk, clean office, or clean car to be a mastermind. But you do have to have a clear mind.
It means you must eliminate or limit all excess. Try to simplify. Try and be concise and consistent so you can have a smooth thought pattern.
Identify those things in your mind that are cluttering up your thoughts and preventing you from being enlightened.
Every once in a while I have to do a complete and total brain dump. I mean I have to just spew everything out. It needs to get out of my head because it is too crowded and no longer productive. I will take a couple days to do this. I will sit with a journal and just free write. I will bullet point were I can. I will make notes to reference parts that connect, pieces that go together. I get it all “out on the table” so to speak.
This does two things for me. One, I get an actual visual representation of the shit that was in my head. And two, it frees up my mind to explore new connections and new big ideas.
When you find yourself in a rut or bound up (I don’t mean intestinally) get everything out in the open. Do a brain dump and restart.
You will find yourself recharged, rejuvenated, and inspired to press on to bigger and better things.
Posted in Conquer Yourself
First off what are your flaws? What do you suck at? Figure it out, there are many. you must identify the symptoms of your lack of success. Brainstorm. Ask questions like “why did I lose my job?” or “What where they so pissed about?” Think about all the things you apologize for. What situations get you or the people around you stressed out?
For me… “Why did I lose that job?” Well, I didn’t take care of the details like my boss wanted me to. “What was my wife so angry about?” I forgot to take out the trash, mail that letter, pay that bill, clean the bathroom, and I am working all the time. I am always saying “No, Sorry I didn’t have time. I will get to it tomorrow.” You have to be a procrastinator if you wish to be a mediocre mastermind.
I have always stressed people out when I make mistakes. A couple of times I have not reviewed reports prior to submitting them only to find out too late and causing serious headaches for me and my staff later.
You may be a mastermind but you are definitely mediocre. Don’t worry though, there is hope. Follow the steps in this series to help overcome the peril of being mediocre and become a mastermind.
Posted in Conquer Yourself
A first step in becoming a Mediocre Mastermind is to Conquer the Clock. Wake up & go to sleep. Recently I have had trouble with both which will generally be the case. Stay up late… can’t wake up in the morning.
My schedule is fairly flexible. I can choose when m work starts in the morning or… Late morning… or early afternoon. But starting work and waking up need to be separate things. You must wake up because you have decided to wake up. At a specific time. Not because you HAVE to go to work, but because you wanted to wake up. You don’t initially need to figure out what to do but don’t make it work. Do something else. Just be.
By getting up on purpose you will gain purpose (and probably start work earlier). If you make your own schedule, then make it… and stick to it.
For those of you who have a strict work schedule I suggest you get up at least an hour before you begin to get ready for work. Decide the night before and do it. Do it every morning. Your body will begin to get used to it. PS. NO SNOOZE BUTTON! I wake up an hour before I have to get ready for work everyday because of my crazy cat… but hey, I get up.
We have all heard of super successful people getting up at insane hours of the morning to start their day. Maybe there is something to this Conquering of the Clock. Now the question becomes, What to do with the time? This is where you will begin to see dramatic changes in your well being. Some things to do might be:
This is extra time to yourself for yourself that you didn’t have before. Use it wisely and use it often (I actually try and sleep in on weekends just so my wife can wake up with me beside her).
This one seems to get masterminds in trouble. It seems to be hard for our brains to wind down. We might get in a brain storming session over a dinner or you might be stuck telling “fish” stories over beer with your co-captain. Who knows the reason, doesn’t matter. Go to Bed. That party you want to go to is NEVER THAT IMPORTANT… OR FUN. Besides, your normal self isn’t worth much… a tired, hungover self is worth much, much less.
There are many ways for people to prepare for sleep. Some read in bed, some write, some prepare to-do lists for the next day. What ever the task may be it is important for the mastermind to choose something that slows things down. TV can be one, not my 1st choice. Put your technology away and do it early in the evening. It has been shown to keep your brain active an hour or more after you have stopped using it. Slowing down and halting all brainstorming, idea gathering, idea interlacing, is important and can feel unproductive. You think “not yet, I can’t stop thinking of this one idea. It can’t wait until tomorrow.” Make it wait. It can wait.
Waking up and going to sleep are important, but keep to a good routine everyday. There are a lot of things to do in the 16 hours that you have (and think, that means you get to sleep for 8 hours a night, wow!)
Getting up when YOU decide and going to bed when YOU decide are very important (dare I say the MOST important change a mediocre mastermind can make). If you do both you be more organized, be healthier (potentially), be more inspired, be more creative, and feel better than ever before. This will set you up for future success. This will lay the framework for becoming a mastermind. Start with these steps and start immediately.